10 Life Lessons I learned From Mum

1. Be Respectful to the elders

I guess we can all agree that not everyone in this world is perfect and that goes the same for the elders. They don't always make the right decisions, and as human as they are, they do fail and sometimes hurts others more than they intend to (or not intend to). I've had my fair share of having adults around me who, in no way or form, would you ever call them a role model but still, my mother taught me that I have not walked their journey therefore I know nothing about them, they still deserve to be respected and be treated like normal human beings.

Respect does not only come from our actions but also our way of speaking to them and how we treat them. The first people that we interact with are our family and each and every one is a piece of a puzzle that would help build our identity. I am glad that mum is one of the biggest pieces in that puzzle.

2. There's nothing that you can't achieve when you work hard

My mum tend to belittle herself every now and then and it cuts me deep whenever she does. That is why I want to make her proud every day of my life so that I can show her what she is truly capable of. Mum believes that she is not intelligent just because she didn't finish high school but I beg to differ. Some people may see themselves intelligent but they are an empty vessel, no feelings, no heart, no nothing but pure air.

My mother on the other hand works very hard because this is the only way she knows how, to give us a better and brighter future. What she does not know is that she's brighter than any stars above the sky and without her in my life; I think I would never learn the art of loving what I do for a living and anything that I choose to do with my life. Both Mama and Papa came from a financially struggling family but because they believed in the power of hard work, we are now living in a first world country and are one of the safest places in world.

3. Be cautious with what you say to others

Growing up back home in the Philippines, gossip is a way of life. I bet it’s what no-good "tambay" have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sometimes, the root of the gossip even comes from a relative and that is something that Mama would always want to avoid. It is true that whether you do good or bad, people with bad intentions or is under the influence of jealousy would do their best to find things to gossip about. That's why my mother always says, "the less you tell people about your personal life, the better".

People may seem to sympathize with you but all they're really there for is the story so that they can pass it on to other people and eventually, scrutinize you. Mama said that if you risk telling people about your personal problems and if it blows out of proportion, you can't blame anyone but yourself because there wouldn't be any gossip if you didn't say anything to anyone in the first place. People will do what they do best, socialize and if their way of socializing is gossiping then it’s only a matter of time before the whole town knows about your darkest secrets.

4. Live a simple and fun life

What Mama means is only buy what is needed. If there is a way that you can save, do it! But that does not mean that you can't treat yourself/family every now and then. Learning when to save and when to loosen up a little is her God-given talent.

Always be humble and learn to uplift those people around. She may be tired from work most of the time from working 12 hour shifts every day, but she always made time to make sure that she sits with us to watch television and have giggles. Our hangouts were as simple as helping her from doing the chores and of course, being the little rascals that we are, we tend to annoy her every now and then, or always if I'm being honest.

5. Always remember what you're working hard for

Don't work hard just because you want to, have purpose and have goals and most importantly, ask yourself, who you are working hard for. Growing up, I see my mother time and time again, exhausted from working then there's the Manila traffic and still, she would come home and help out around the house even if we have maids designated to do those tasks. Up until now, she never stops working hard to secure our future and to make sure that even once they are gone, we will be well looked after.

All this time, since the day my Kuya and I came, she worked hard to help us achieve our goals and dreams. And now that I have the ability to choose what I want to work hard for, I want to work hard so that I can make sure that they will have the ability to live a life that they truly deserve.

6. Always have time for family

When we were younger, Mama and Papa always have to be on opposing shifts so that we have someone with us during the day and someone during the night time. The only time we get to be all together is on Sundays. At least once a month, they would take Kuya and I out to a park to play baseball if not, renting bicycles to go around the park.

It is this family time that I will treasure the most. Sometimes Mama works on Saturdays (night shift) and we would come and meet her by the park after her work and still, she has the power to keep up with us and still have fun. There is not a word in the dictionary that could describe how much I admire this woman but in God's perfect time; I hope I can be at least half the woman she is today.

The times where I see her tired and close to giving up are the ones that has stuck with me from my childhood, but what I truly treasure is seeing her get back up and face a new day as if the last didn’t bother her at all.

7. Always look presentable wherever you're off to

Oh yes! This is definitely one of the many things I will forever be grateful of mum. When I was younger, she never holds off when it comes to making sure that I look nice and presentable wherever we may go. People will judge you by how you present yourself so make sure that wherever you go, you always look nice. Fashion and clothing has grown into me and I guess I have a good reason to put the blame on her when she starts complaining about the amount of clothes that comes through the mail.

8. Always be kind to others

No matter how nasty people may be to you or how much they talk bad behind your back, still, be nice to them. I mean what can they really do to you, if you continue to be nice to them right? Kill them with kindness is what they always say and I live by this iconic mantra on the daily. Apart from feeling good about being nice, you just showed someone that you are unbreakable and that no matter the circumstances, kindness will always prevail. Sounds like a super hero type movie? Not quite, I mean what would you honestly get out of arguing with someone who will never consider what you have to say? It’s pointless and it’s a battle than can never be won.

9. Never be too shy to show how you feel about the people you love

I love you, thank you and Sorry. How often do we use these words around our family these days? Almost never, right? But my mother was never too shy to say these things to us and growing up, it helped me realize how important these words are in our daily lives. The simple gift of gratitude is often bypassed by many and this can be shown by a simple “thanks” and still, it’s very hard for us to achieve, why?! I am most certainly guilty of this. There is not a day that I wish I have the capacity in my heart to go right up to my parents, most especially my Dad, to say those three phrases to him without any hesitations. Hopefully I’d be able to muster that courage before it’s too late.

10. Always protect your family

My mum is someone who sits in the corner quietly observing but she will skin you alive the moment she sees her family being tormented. That’s what I love about my mother, she’s got a lot of fight in her when it comes to family’s safety. She will do whatever it takes to make sure that no one will harm us but she lets us fall every now and then so that we learn how to get up by ourselves and she’s not that over protective, at all. She chooses her battle and thank goodness I have not seen her go after anyone. Oh dear! Just thinking about it sends shiver down my spine.

Her means of protection is not limited to physical harm but also but also in life changing decisions that we make. I’ve had so many decisions that I could’ve gone ahead without her thoughts and I wouldn’t be writing this here today. I was just the usual teenager who thinks she knows what’s best for her and what’s not, every advise that she gave was the opposite of what I wanted to hear but I loved her dearly so I listened and I am so glad that I did. I owe her my life.