Needy Ka Ba?

We are all born with our personal needs and wants and occasionally, these needs and wants can be found on those people that surrounds us whether it may be family, friends or lovers. It is true that we humans need to socialize with other humans in order for us to survive, we tend to depend on one another and even make ourselves one another’s strength and weakness.

We need specific people for certain situations; we may even have a go-to person for every situation that comes our way. It may sound needy but that word comes into play when we depend on that person a little too much. Have you ever thought what you have taken away from that person by wanting or even demanding them to be by your side whenever you please?

This tends to happen mainly but not restricted to those people who are in a relationship. We always want them by our side because they make us happy and their existence brightens up our day. There’s never a dull moment with them and most especially on a rough day, we want someone to help us feel a little better which is not a drawback at all, but do we know what we’re depriving them of by asking for their attention all the time?

Remember the saying, if you love them, you have to let them go? That sort of applies in this context. In my personal opinion, if you truly value your boyfriend/girlfriend, let them do what they have to do. If they said that they couldn’t be with you for some reason, let them be. Some intentions are valid some may sound absurd but let them do what they need/want to do. If you truly matter to them, they will make a way to be with you and make you understand the reasons why.

Some of us may seem to come through as naggers because we tend to check up on our boyfriend/girlfriend’s whereabouts to make sure that they are not doing anything behind our back that would upset us. These feelings are valid and it is known for those who are in a relationship to have come across with these feelings. If you have such accusations or doubts, I suggest you sit down and talk this out. Such topic is not easy to discuss most especially when ones feelings are compromised. If they cheated, then that is on them, you have no control over that because cheating is a choice not an accident that you could’ve prevented from happening.

Let them be with their family, do not deprive them of the times they could be spending with their love ones. If you truly love your partner, you’ll learn to love his/her family and you can show this by letting him/her be with family. When the time comes that you two started living together, you’ll always have him/her by your side, so give him/her this opportunity to spend as much time as he/she can with family.

Don’t pull them away from their friends, let them choose whoever they want to be friends with and trust that whoever they may be with, they will always choose to do the right thing. They say that you must become friends with their circle of friends if you two want to have a long lasting relationship, this could be true, and this could be not. I believe this comes down to whatever works best for the two of you. I’ve met couples who are best friends with each other’s circle of friends, and also couples who are not best friends with each other’s circle of friends but can be considered rather as acquaintances.

Let them find their passion, be supportive of them and give positive encouragements all the way. In a world where everyone judges anything that moves or breathes, the last thing they need is someone who will judge them for trying to reach their goals or worse, hold them back. Some may even have difficulty discovering their true passion but what truly matters is that you are with them throughout that journey. Aid them to the best of your abilities and also voice out if you do have concerns, they need your positive criticisms too.

At the end of the day, not all of our needs and wants will be satisfied. Some may be harder to get than the others, some requires a lot of hard work, and some may even seem unreachable. Regardless of what it may be, believe that you always have someone that will help you through it all. We all have our needs and wants and we may have that someone who satisfies those but we have to remember when is the appropriate time to ask. They are not bound by our calls and demands, they too have their own lives, let them live their life so that you can live yours.