Weekend Marathon

The weekend went at full tilt that my brain could not even process what had happened in the past 48 hours. I am still trying my hardest to remember what happened over the weekend but I am still struggling, surely as I start typing, it will come flooding back in. It’s not that I got so wasted over the weekend that I couldn’t remember anything, for your information, I don’t drink alcohol so that is out of the option. I suppose a lot has happened and it all went too fast, or is this merely a sign of aging? Charot!

Saturday Morning I spent half the morning sleeping in because why not. Langga had training with our coach while I prepare some dinner for my brother’s arrival late in the afternoon. I can now sort of remember what went down on Saturday, it was a trip back and forth to the supermarket and then upon arriving at home, I got a call from Mama asking me to send more money, that’s another trip to the mall and it was such a lovely weather too but it is quite exhausting. We picked up Kuya and his oversize navy bags and I’m just happy to see him again, after almost half a year of being away. He has not changed. He’s still the same guy who looks like a hair grew out a face-serious-funny looking brother I last saw eight months ago.

We also had our Badminton club Christmas party and it feels great seeing them out of the court, not smashing one another. We went to a Thai restaurant called Erawan Thai Restaurant and man the food was indeed lovely, most especially the strawberry ice cream desert swimming in strawberry juice! Urgh! Heaven!

Sunday was another lovely day and I got up later than yesterday. I went to a movie with the boyfriend, supposedly meeting a very good friend of mine but they were up the ramp and on the other side of the cinema while we're diagonally across from them. The movie we watched was a rom-com Filipino movie called Unexpectedly Yours and this movie is something that most teenagers should be watching because there is definitely more to it than great actors but it is also full of morals that would hit millennials really hard.

There were so many life lessons for teenagers who think they know better than their parents and I tried to dodge as many I possibly could but they somehow still, manage to hit me right in the f feels. Growing up, I was a strong willed person and I always believe that I can make it on my own.

There was so many decisions that I could’ve taken without my parent’s consent and I knew, within my heart that it will ruin what they have worked really hard for. I am forever grateful for mum’s advice and her support throughout my teenage years. She’s been supportive despite the many stupid things I told her I wanted to do. She believed and trusted my knowledge, skills and abilities to see the difference of what is good and what is bad and all the things that sits in the grey area.

I was in a long distance relationship once and the many times that I thought I have decided to leave my family behind and be with the guy I thought “loves me beyond words” and is ever so loyal- is just unimaginable. I was still in the middle of my University Study at the time and I must say, I was doing well enough to enter the University with a few thousand dollar scholarship and he played a role in that, I won’t deny that at all. I worked hard in hoping that one day we’ll be together and live happily ever after, but life is no fairy-tale. There’s no such thing as prince charming, just charming guys with different intentions. In the days that I felt irritated and frustrated, I only wished for a way out and that option was most certainly within my grasp. What has truly stopped me from being so reckless is the love and faith my parents always had in me that I will finish my studies and be successful one day.

Another moral lesson from the movie is the fear of looking bad and being a failure. Growing up, I only had my parents to look up to and that was more than sufficient for me. They are very simple beings and they only go by what is needed which is a great practice if you want to live a simple and quiet life. I don’t know where the hell I got my standards from because going out of University, a lot of things shifted and that’s including my standards. Failure is not an option and I only want the best. There’s nothing wrong with that, and I stand firm on that notion but I just tend to forget that failure is part of our life and it is not every day that we will win our battles and daily challenges. It is OK to fail sometimes because it is not the fact that we failed but it’s a matter of how we get up and bounces back from it all, to let go of all things that are hurting me and to stop expecting too much out of my love ones, to always choose happiness regardless of what the situation is and value our worth as an individual.

In the course of my past relationships, its either I get cheated on or I give myself out without confirming the other person’s true feelings towards me. From then on, I have thoroughly guarded my heart and turned myself away from other people. During the cold nights of winter, I secretly pray to God that may he find someone who can soften my hardened heart, to help ease the empty yet heavy feeling within. I never stopped believing, secretly, I still giggle over romantic stories I read in a book, but the feeling would leave as fast as it came.

If there’s one thing in life that I learned from the past 23 years of my life, it is to trust the author for you are in good and loving hands. The author has given His life so that he could continue to write our lovely stories. Our lives will never be perfect, we will continue to find ourselves in situations we didn’t ask for and sometimes, they do seem impossible to get through but that is OK. Trust the author, He loves you and will never forsake you.